Hey, I’m David. I help founders find the hidden value beneath the obvious problem.
I was listening to a conversation with Diana Chapman recently. She regularly comments on something you’re might familiar with if you’ve spent any time in personal development circles: the drama triangle.
If you haven’t checked it out, it’s worth the time.
The drama triangle has three roles: Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer. For example, the Victim would say “My co-founder let me down” or “The economy isn’t cooperating.”
What I think is particularly under-discussed for Founders is role as a Rescuer/Hero.
Using over-responsibility and control to avoid the actual problems we’re facing.
It’s the hero inside you that’s keeping you stuck.
Are You Overfunctioning?
When you’re struggling, you have two choices.
You can stop, feel what’s actually there, and make a hard decision about what needs to change. Or you can brush past it and go harder.
Most founders choose going harder.
You optimize the schedule. You add another system, refine another process. You read the next productivity book. You hustle more, sleep less, or numb with food or work or whatever escape hatch you’ve built for yourself. This works because you tell yourself that you’re being “responsible.” i.e. “I’m solving the problem.”
The real problem however, is that you’re taking responsibility for everything else other than yourself and you’re avoiding is responsibility for your own wellbeing.
Responsible for Your Own Wellbeing
In my coaching work with bootstrapped founders, I see this pattern constantly.
The founder who always feels behind starts another optimization project. Exhausted operators rarely delegate. And most founder’s don’t take any breaks.
What’s vulnerable, and what taking real responsibility means, is saying: “I can’t do all of this myself.” “I’m overwhelemd.” “I don’t know what to do but I’m going to pause.”
That’s vulnerable. That requires admitting you can’t do it all. It means your business might slow down for a minute while you actually address what’s broken.
Instead, most founders just keep going…
If this resonates I’d invite you to ask yourself:
Where am I overfunctioning right now?
Where am I using control and optimization to avoid feeling what’s there?
The answer to that question is often where your next chapter starts.
xx David